NOTHING BEATS SELF BELIEF!
NOTHING BEATS SELF BELIEF!
To the woman and child who sat at table 9,
I did not introduce myself to you. My name is Tony Posnanski. I have been a restaurant manager for fifteen years now. My day consists of making sure my restaurant runs well. That could mean washing dishes, cooking and sometimes even serving tables. I have also dealt with every guest complaint you can imagine.
A few weeks back you came into my restaurant. I was very busy that night. I was running around helping the kitchen cook food. I was asked to talk to a table close to yours. I did and they said your child was being very loud. I heard some yelling while I was talking to that table. I heard a very loud beep from a young girl.
I started to walk to your table. You knew what I was going to ask. You saw the table I just spoke to pointing at you. I got to your table and you looked at me. You wanted the first word. You said…
“Do you know what it is like to have a child with Autism?”
You were not rude when you asked the question. In fact, you were quite sincere. Your daughter could not have been more than five years old. She was beautiful and looked scared that I was at the table. She looked like she thought she was in trouble.
In fifteen years I do not have a lot of memorable moments as a restaurant manager. I remember some guests who were mad that their burger was not the way they wanted it. I remember a woman who called corporate on me because she said I gave her a regular Coke instead of a Diet Coke. I remember having to cut people off from drinking alcohol and I remember having to tell tables to have their child be quieter.
However, I do remember everything about the day my son was born. How I cried when I heard him cry. How I stood there and told him I would do anything for him and be the best father possible. I remember the day I married my wife. How I cried and promised to be the best husband possible. I remember the day my daughter was born. I did not cry that day. I was just so relieved because I lost a child two years earlier.
I know what I was supposed to say when I went to your table. I was supposed to politely tell you to please not have your daughter yell. I was supposed to offer to move you to another area. I was supposed to offend you by not offending you…
I did not do any of that.
Instead I just told you I hoped your meal was awesome. I high fived your daughter and then I told you that your meal was on us tonight. It was only sixteen dollars. It meant more to me than that. I do not think the other guests I spoke to were happy about it. At that moment it did not matter to me.
I do not know how you reacted. I had to leave to go cook because the kitchen was not doing very good that night. When the server asked me why I bought the food I just said you did not enjoy your steak. I did not tell anyone what you said to me. I was thankful you did say it to me though.
You asked me a question that I did not answer. The truth is I do not know what it is like to have a child with Autism. I know what it is like to be a father. I know what it is like to be a husband. I know what it is like to not tell his wife how much he loves her enough. I know what it is like to want to spend more time with his children.
You asked me the question right away. You have been through this before in other restaurants. I did not want to be like other managers for one moment. I did not want to tell you what you always heard.
Honestly, I wrote this to you and your beautiful daughter because I wanted to thank you both.
You have given me a great restaurant memory. One that I needed for the last fifteen years.
You also taught me a valuable lesson…
Sometimes doing the right thing does not make everyone happy; just the people who need it the most.
As promised, here are the remaining 10 tips taken from “20 Powerful Beliefs That Will Push You Toward Success”, written by Gilbert Ross. As, recommended with the 1st half, it would be a good idea to make affirmations out of the ones you really have a hard time getting through your skull. Review the list before you leave the house for the day and/or go to bed at night to begin reprogramming your brain. If you missed 1-10, follow the link at the bottom of this page to catch up.
10 (of 20) Powerful Beliefs That Will Push You Toward Success:
11. My past can be reviewed and rewritten
Some people are locked in their past or think that their past circumstances determine their future. Successful people are skillful in the art of interpreting their past and reframinmg it according to their optimal advantage.
12. There are forces and energies which can help me if I’m conscious
You might be thinking magic? Fairies? Not exactly. We cannot perceive certain subtle energies but some successful people believe in positive and negative energy flows from things and people just like ancient Chinese traditions believed in the flow of the Chi (Qi) or life energy. You can make yourself aware of this but it takes practice.
13. Failure is good
As in point 9, empowered people can turn a failure into success by learning from it and moving on.
14. Don’t take it personally
Get out of the trap of taking life circumstances personally or you will end up enslaved emotionally. When you get rejections, criticisms, cold shoulders, etc., put in within an impersonal bracket. They are not rejecting me, but an idea of me they have in their mind.
15. Bad patches are temporary
We all pass through bad patches. It’s the cycle of life. But we all get out of them unless we chose not to. Think outside of the moment.
16. What I learn can be improved and refined
Self-empowered people have a very dynamic view on life. There is always space for change and improvement especially on skills and lessons learnt.
17. I am constantly developing and expanding new capabilities
Just like the previous point, empowerment comes from a non-static outlook where life-affirming mind states are believed to expand not contract.
18. Things are impermanent, don’t attach yourself to things
This is a Buddhist concept which the real successful have learnt through experience. You might think that successful people are materialistic. I think the really successful are people who have a richer view on life and know how to ride life’s waves without getting emotionally attached.
19. Forget, forgive, rejoice
Don’t get stuck in resentment and grudges. Travel light without dragging an emotional baggage full of past disappointments.
20. I already have all I need
Self-explanatory. The path to success is through self-discovery and not world conquest as some would believe. People who have made it knew how to uncover their skills and true potential instead of obsessing with possessing.